Consent: A Thin Line

Sexual Consent has become an issue of discussion among the millennial due to the increased number of rape cases as the years progress. The first step is understanding the true meaning of sexual consent since more often than not is confused with neither saying yes nor no.

That means if you want to do something sexual with someone, you need to ask first. If you don’t ask first before you touch, kiss, or do anything sexual with someone, and they don’t say yes, then you don’t have that person’s consent, and what you’re doing to them may be sexual assault. That is why consent matters. 

Consent is:  

Freely given. It’s not okay to pressure, trick, or threaten someone into saying yes. And you can’t give consent if you’re drunk, high, or passed out.

Reversible. It’s okay to say yes and then change your mind — at any time! Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed.

Informed. You can only consent to something if you have all the facts.

Enthusiastic. When it comes to sex, you should do stuff you WANT to do, not things people expect you to do. If someone doesn’t seem enthusiastic (meaning happy, excited, or energized), stop and check in.

Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’re saying yes to other things (like having sex).

Did you know there are laws about who is able to consent? If the person you are with is:

• Drunk or high
• Asleep or passed out
• Below the legal age of consent or much younger than you
• Disabled in a way that affects their ability to understand you then they can’t consent, and it’s not okay for you to do anything sexual with them.
• Giving consent for one activity, one time, does not mean giving consent for increased or recurring sexual contact.

 These are facts that many people are not familiar with. Assumptions made about consent contribute to a rape culture where victims of rape are not aware that they are a victims themselves due to the lack of a clear understanding of what consent really means.

Social marketing campaigns can be used to shape social norms around sexual violence.

These campaigns are designed to change the long-term behavior of a target audience. Social marketing is founded on the idea that marketing techniques can be used not only to sell goods and services but to promote ideas, attitudes and behaviors. Social marketing campaigns operate using the analogies that lie within “Four Ps.” 

• The first P is the product which is not necessarily a physical object but a service, practice or idea. In order to sell or promote the product, individuals must believe that there is a problem and that the product is a part of the solution. Within sexual assault prevention, the product might be consent or bystander intervention.
• The second P is price. The price may not be a monetary cost of a product but rather an intangible social or emotional cost. Consuming a product may cost time or risk social disapproval from others. For this reason, the product must be marketed as being worth the price. For sexual assault campaigns this could mean emphasizing the cost of not intervening by promoting testimonials from survivors. 
• The third P is place which refers to the way in which a product is distributed. This includes considering dissemination of information and accessibility. For sexual violence social marketing campaigns this may mean posters, training, social media, etc.
• The fourth P is promotion which refers to promoting and sustaining a demand for the product itself. For sexual violence programming this may refer to awareness campaigns. Social marketing campaigns must thoroughly understand their target audiences. It is important that messages be designed to address the specific needs of particular populations. 

To provide a few examples, “Consent is so frat” is an organization marketing the importance of consent to members of Greek Life, “Men can stop rape” is a campaign designed to engage men on issues of sexual violence understanding their role in prevention efforts. Several programs have been designed specifically for student athletes to address the rates of sexual assault perpetration by collegiate athletes. Each of these campaigns are designed to market specifically to their target audience engaging those with substantial social influence in their communities. 

To me, consent in this regard is fundamental to an understanding of ethics: Take into account all those who are affected by a decision, and what they care about. Yes, that is clearly important in the sexual realm, because people care about that. It is important as a general approach to dealing with other people and in every domain of life. Seeking consent is necessary to be a kind, compassionate and ethical person. I care about it strongly, and I hope you do too.